Should your partner know when you ovulate or rather not? Maybe you are thinking right now: „I’m doing all the hard work, taking plenty of supplements, trying to eat well, exercise and now I should also be hiding my ovulation?“.
It’s hard for your partner, too
Even though your partner might not show much that the fertility journey takes a toll on him, after all men are taught not to show many emotions, deep down there is pressure on him, too. After two years of our own fertility journey, I realized it’s been a while since the last time me and my husband had sex. I’ve been wondering for a few days what might be wrong. Then I just sat down with him and asked him directly: „Is there something wrong?“.
After a few classic „everything is fine“ (yep, not only women do that), it came out he’s been too stressed lately. He was thinking there was too much pressure on him to perform. And he had no clue when I ovulated! Imagine if he knew.
Less sharing might be caring
For us, women, it’s harder not to feel pressure (or rather impossible) since we usually know when we ovulate. You either use the ovulation predictor kits, you’ve been to your OB/GYN a few times to check on your growing follicles or you chart (I hope you do!). So not knowing is not in the game for you. However, how about you kept your partner a bit in the dark?
For good or bad, when I found out my husband was having a hard time around baby making, it was also a turning point for me. I realized I needed to let go a little bit and if we didn’t feel like having sex around ovulation, then be it, there would be another opportunity. And suddenly I realized something heavy was lifted off my chest. Without realizing it – or without wanting to realize – I was under pressure, too. Ironically enough, the conversation ended up well 😉 and two weeks later I found my first BFP. The first one ever after two and a half years of trying.
How much to involve your partner on the fertility journey?
The short answer is a lot. I don’t want you to treat your partner like some delicate flower. You probably do all kind of research every day and you are learning something new all the time. About woman’s body, menstrual cycle, supplements, diet, you follow stories of other people in a similar situation to yours.
Don’t be afraid to share it with your other half. After all, you are in this together, your fertility is shared. Get him involved in your diet plans, tell him other people’s stories, explain him more about how woman’s body and menstrual cycle works. In the end he will feel empowered on the fertility journey as well. Just try not to text him to work: “Positive OPK, baby dancing this evening.” 🧐
Btw., are you sure you know when you ovulate? You might be surprised!
